This Week's Best Jokes on Twitter

If you’re reading this, you haven’t lost power, at least for your phone. Some of us at SCENES just got through a hurricane, along with millions of Americans. The rest of you, of course, are busy talking about Hillary’s memoirs and Ted Cruz’s staffer who liked a sordid video…. The point is, we all need a break, now don’t we? Here’s ten minutes of harmless “happy time.” Enjoy!

Any reunion is a family reunion if you’re Genghis Khan

— Michael, still here (@Home_Halfway) September 8, 2017

open for a surprise pic.twitter.com/xiZaCSwOkb

— First World Pains (@FirstWorldPains) September 3, 2017

No sign has ever encapsulated my life more than the one this woman is wearing pic.twitter.com/eWFVita7Dx

— Tim (@Playing_Dad) September 7, 2017

😐😐😐 pic.twitter.com/RPZR671FGU

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) September 6, 2017

I LOVE CREDIT CARDS! pic.twitter.com/stauWn4SWv

— batkaren (@batkaren) September 2, 2017

so is there a professional grade printer in the west wing or do they go to kinko’s or what pic.twitter.com/3RlQDgmp9m

— Josh Patten (@thejoshpatten) September 9, 2017

Watching innovators at a tech convention at my hotel in Berlin have lunch and I can’t turn my Google search back to English from German.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) September 6, 2017

them: here
me: pic.twitter.com/3KWScp3CFa

— gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) September 11, 2017

The Boyz II Men Geico ad is specifically designed to make you ask “How much do you get for doing a Geico ad?”

— Todd Barry (@toddbarry) September 6, 2017

I was never this happy before school. pic.twitter.com/rzKa5Ey7dQ

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) September 12, 2017

[After losing a rap battle] “How did he get a hold of my credit score?”

— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) July 7, 2015

[telling stories to my grandkids] *sat by roaring fire*
gather round children, let me tell you the tale of when i wrote a “hit” tweet

— rebrand™ i nice now (@trojansauce) September 8, 2017