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This Week’s Best Jokes on Twitter

    Home Feature This Week’s Best Jokes on Twitter

    This Week’s Best Jokes on Twitter

    By The Editors | Feature, Social Media | Comments are Closed | 2 October, 2017 | 0

    Take a break from political squabbles and arguing over whether the new Twitter character count will “ruin the genre” of Tweets. Kick back and enjoy some of the funniest observations we’ve seen on social media all week.

    pic.twitter.com/xbknKi1bqO

    — Respectful Memes (@RespectfulMemes) September 29, 2017


    teacher: class, today we learn about the birds and bees

    class: OOOOH

    [opens hawk cage]

    class: AAAHHH

    [calls principal]
    RELEASE THE BEES

    — Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) September 29, 2017


    [son hands me a picture he painted]
    Me: what’s that
    Son: it’s our house
    Me [walks outside with son]: do you see how it absolutely isn’t?

    — David Hughes (@david8hughes) August 31, 2017


    Operator: Can you hold?

    Me: I love being held.

    — Turd Ferguson (@generaldietz) December 2, 2015


    Me: I’d invite you in but my place is a mess
    Friend: That’s OK. I don’t mind
    M: The mess tho
    F: Don’t be silly
    M: I don’t want u in my house

    — mo (@chuuew) November 7, 2015


    ME: *after reading “Into the Wild” once* pic.twitter.com/W2uTBcNH8y

    — The Pale Space Rider (@truegritrumble) August 22, 2017


    *chasing after a rooster* give me your cool hat

    — spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) April 5, 2016


    [tv show ‘ice cream or not ice cream’]

    Me: *confidently puts down spoon* that’s ice cream

    Host: sorry that’s dirt, but thanks for playing

    — Ally Gator ? (@notacroc) September 27, 2017


    EXECUTIVE: this ones not about murder is it
    STEPHEN KING: its about children
    E: ok
    SK: in corn
    E: thats nice
    SK:who murder
    E: dammit Stephen

    — rob elliott (@rockymomax) July 31, 2016


    a tv show where people come round my house and i pour milk in their shoes while they eat dinner

    — coolgorilla™ (@trojansauce) September 27, 2017


    [being buried alive]

    murderer: *out of breath* how are you eating the dirt so quickly

    — Marf (@MarfSalvador) September 27, 2017


    COP: What’s the rush?

    ME: A Canadian rock band

    COP: Ok smart aleck, wait while I check your info

    {45 min}

    COP: They have some good tunes

    — Todd ‘Papi’ Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) December 28, 2016

    Best Twitter Jokes, humor, Twitter, Twitter Jokes

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