This Week’s Best Jokes on Twitter

By The Editors | Social Media | Comments are Closed | 22 August, 2017 | 0

It has been a rough week in the culture. Time to remember the brighter side of life, in the form of witty Twitter. Sit back and enjoy!

Are you outraged by something you’ve seen on your Timeline? Angry at someone else’s tweets? Introducing GET OFFENDED pic.twitter.com/JjpCqc6PGg

— John Crist (@johnbcrist) June 23, 2016

My mom asked me how to screenshot on her iPhone. I laughed and then remembered she taught me how to use a spoon and a toilet.

— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) August 18, 2017

[trying to impress date]

HER: I really want to have children.

ME: [to waiter] Bring us your finest baby.

— Floyd (@dafloydsta) August 16, 2017

#tbt I’ve heard “They went with the good looking guy” many times in my career. @gaffiganshow @alecbaldwin @mulaney pic.twitter.com/kZ7MRCUBJR

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 17, 2017

lmao somebody pls watch this pic.twitter.com/RTgo3hYuOt

— yella ting | (@THEsweeet_yella) August 14, 2017

Had that nightmare where my chute doesn’t open and I hit the ground, and the last thing I hear is a cannibal shouting “5-second rule!”

— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) August 15, 2017

Let’s just all agree to stop calling dogs “fur babies”.

— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) August 10, 2017

gonna start referring to lactose intolerance as “alt soy”

— Jamie A Lee (@TheJamieLee) August 16, 2017

white supremacists sure do love yelling “go back to africa!!” to people their ancestors literally kidnapped & brought here from africa

— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) August 18, 2017

me at the function pic.twitter.com/1qVvVwU5Ez

— gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) August 12, 2017

So fantastic! This iPad stand comes with 24 hour support! pic.twitter.com/XPG17naEKu

— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) August 16, 2017

Making toast counts as doing cardio, right?

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 18, 2017

[first day in jail]

INMATE: what’re ya in for?

ME: a serious lecture if my mom finds out about this

— Hype Hyperson (@TheHyyyype) July 26, 2017

I found a copy of Sheryl Crow’s calendar. Fascinating pic.twitter.com/Mse26I1H7E

— Michael, still here (@Home_Halfway) July 27, 2017

Funny Tweets, humor, Jokes, Twitter

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