The Unmitigated Horror that is “Little House on the Prairie”

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Having been harangued one too many times over my preference for movies of a macabre nature, I thought I would broaden my horizons and give good wholesome family entertainment a shot. Holy cow, have I been missing out! I chose the most decent, most innocent show I could think of, and what did I find? Murder! Madness! Mayhem! This show has it all. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to to you the unmitigated horror that is… Little House on the Prairie.

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A Matter of Faith (Season 2 Episode 15)

Not wanting to delay the family camping trip, Ma sends Pa off with the girls, promising to join them later. Unfortunately, in a rush to complete her chores, Ma accidentally scratches her leg on some baling wire. As antibiotics are still some 60 years away, it isn’t long before the scratch turns into a serious, life threatening infection. The accompanying fever causes Ma to go a little mad (don’t we all sometimes), and in her delirium, she decides to follow the advice of Matthew 18:8 and try to saw off the offending member. She passes out before finishing the job, but still.

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Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream

Seven Horrific Non-Horror Movies

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It’s that time again. To assuage their collective shame over making a pants-load of money off of scary movies all year long, the fine folks from Hollywood will now spend the next month releasing a steady stream of Academy Award fodder that no one will go see. But fret not, horror fans, as there’s always the chance for a good scare amongst all that self-proclaimed quality. You see, over the years, there have been any number of critically acclaimed “real” movies that have ended up being just as eerie, disturbing, and even scary as any traditional fright flick. Here are seven of the best examples of such horrific non-horror films…

Leviathan

LEVIATHAN (2012)

To be honest, the first time I tried to watch Leviathan, I fell asleep. This documentary is the epitome of artsy-fartsy, and if you’re not in the mood for that kind of thing, it’s best to just let it be. The second time, though, I was in the right frame of mind and Leviathan managed to weave its spell on me. Make no mistake, I’m not one of those meat eaters who are oblivious to where their dinners come from.

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Six Movies with Horrific Haunts for Your Halloween Viewing

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According to an article in Forbes, one in every five people will attend a haunted house attraction, or haunt for short, during the days leading up to All Hallows Eve. In the U. S. alone, that means somewhere around 65 million willing victims queue up for no other reason than to be scared out of their wits. What Forbes neglects to mention is just how many of those standing in line wonder to themselves, “What if there’s a real maniac hiding in there just waiting to disembowel me?” Whatever the number, it’s safe to say quite a few Hollywood screenwriters have had that very same thought cross their minds. Here are six films featuring horrific haunts and where you can find them for some harrowing Halloween viewing.

Hell House LLC

Hell House LLC

Five friends come together to plan a haunt and, to save money, move into the location while they set the place up. Things get consecutively weirder until opening night, when all hell breaks loose and lots of people die. Five years later, a documentary crew assembles all of the available footage to determine what went wrong and that’s when things get weirder still.

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One Please

Horror In Small Doses: “One Please”

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According to Leon F. Seltzer Ph.D., instilling your offspring with a sense of entitlement is nothing less than child abuse. If the short feature One Please is to be believed, it isn’t too good for the parents either. (Warning to the squeamish: there will be blood.)

It’s always good to see horror veteran Michael Berryman (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Hill’s Have Eyes, The Devil’s Rejects) isn’t it, even when you’re not exactly sure what he wants with all those fingers? And how does this particular barter system allow him to buy ice cream and gas for his truck? Oh well, those are hardly the most pressing questions One Please brings up. The main one, of course, is why can’t some parents just say no?

In her book Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World, parenting expert Jill Rigby Garner notes a 2001 study that claims children who are overindulged are more likely to grow up believing in the following:

  1. It is difficult to be happy unless one looks good, is intelligent, rich and creative.
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Movies Featuring Our Favorite and Scariest ITs Over the Years

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The latest version of Stephen King’s IT has creeped into theaters and it looks like we finally have a high profile, studio-produced horror movie that’s actually worth watching. Audiences love it, critics love it, even I pretty much love it, as my own brief, but glowing review attests to.

The Guardian’s James Smythe suggests one of the reasons IT has resonated with so many people over the years is that King “wasn’t writing about the one thing that scared you; he was writing about everything that did… That’s why, in the 30 years since publication, the public’s obsession with It hasn’t really waned. We’re obsessed because we all have fears… This book speaks to everybody.”

Sure, I’ll buy that. But while we’re all listening to IT speak to our darkest fears, let us not forget that IT is hardly the only IT to ever grace a movie screen. There have, in fact, been lots of ITs over the years, each one addressing at least one particular fear. Here’s some of our favorites…

It Came From Outer Space

IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE

Our first IT comes from 1953, courtesy of director Jack Arnold and author Ray Bradbury.

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