Scary Schoolgirls: Class of 2017

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According to data compiled by the American Enterprise Institute, female high school students routinely outperform males, with more girls than boys graduating in the top 10% of their classes. That’s probably just one of the reasons men are now a solid minority on college campuses around the country. However, being outnumbered is the least of the worries for those students with only one X chromosome. As it turns out, the main problem is… all those schoolgirls are certifiably insane. Well, that’s the impression the following films from 2017 might leave you with anyway.

Blackcoat's Daughter, The

The Blackcoat’s Daughter

In his book Cults in Context, Lorne Dawson notes that such groups often prey on “the lonely, the confused, the idealistic, the searchers,” which pretty much describes almost every teenage girl in the world. Take Kat and Rose for example. It’s bad enough they’ve apparently been abandoned at their Catholic boarding school during Winter break, but Kat is also having nightmares and Rose may be pregnant. That kind of emotional distress makes them easy cult fodder, which is unfortunate since the nuns that run the place might actually be devil worshipers.

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The Dark Crypt of DTV: ‘Unlisted Owner’ and ‘The Faith Community’

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In his book Found Footage Horror Films: Fear and the Appearance of Reality, Alexandra Heller-Nicholas ponders the popularity of the found footage genre. Part of it, he suggests, is that found footage “seeks (not always successfully) to create a space where spectators can enjoy having their boundaries pushed, where our confidence that we know where the lines between fact and fiction lie are directly challenged.” This is a fancy film school way of saying that it’s a positive thing most found footage films look like YouTube videos. That should come as a relief to this week’s direct-to-video offerings that appeared in my inbox, Unlisted Owner and The Faith Community.

Unlisted Owner
Unlisted Owner starts out cheerful enough with a family of five moving into their new home. They’re in a horror movie, though, so it’s only minutes before the unfortunate fivesome are all murdered. Did I mention the “Owner House” has a history? Naturally, this latest bloodbath proves irresistible to the local layabouts, who promptly jump in a car and head over to check out the crime scene. Things don’t go well for them.

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The Unmitigated Horror That Is ‘Little House on the Prairie’

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Having been harangued one too many times over my preference for movies of a macabre nature, I thought I would broaden my horizons and give good wholesome family entertainment a shot. Holy cow, have I been missing out! I chose the most decent, most innocent show I could think of, and what did I find? Murder! Madness! Mayhem! This show has it all. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to to you the unmitigated horror that is… Little House on the Prairie.

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A Matter of Faith (Season 2 Episode 15)

Not wanting to delay the family camping trip, Ma sends Pa off with the girls, promising to join them later. Unfortunately, in a rush to complete her chores, Ma accidentally scratches her leg on some baling wire. As antibiotics are still some 60 years away, it isn’t long before the scratch turns into a serious, life threatening infection. The accompanying fever causes Ma to go a little mad (don’t we all sometimes), and in her delirium, she decides to follow the advice of Matthew 18:8 and try to saw off the offending member. She passes out before finishing the job, but still.

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  • I absolutely enjoy watching Little House on the Prairie! My friends tease me; can’t understand my insistence for aiming to make it home at least once or twice a week from work, in time to catch at least 1 of 2 back to back episodes that airs on the local, Inspiration Network. I explain to them that my lure to LHP includes the type of stories, those that involve all types of relationship matters, family and community events. Additionally, some of the best acting, with interesting, and complicated characters are portrayed on this show by some of televisions best veteran actors. Lastly, the music score is reminiscent of amazing classic and instrumental melodies, designed to evoke emotion, set the ‘scene’, and move the viewer. I enjoyed the account of your experience. Made me smile for I so get-it! Keep enjoying this pop-culture melodrama of a not to distant past..LHP, t.v. classic!

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Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream

Seven Horrific Non-Horror Movies

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It’s that time again. To assuage their collective shame over making a pants-load of money off of scary movies all year long, the fine folks from Hollywood will now spend the next month releasing a steady stream of Academy Award fodder that no one will go see. But fret not, horror fans, as there’s always the chance for a good scare amongst all that self-proclaimed quality. You see, over the years, there have been any number of critically acclaimed “real” movies that have ended up being just as eerie, disturbing, and even scary as any traditional fright flick. Here are seven of the best examples of such horrific non-horror films…

Leviathan

LEVIATHAN (2012)

To be honest, the first time I tried to watch Leviathan, I fell asleep. This documentary is the epitome of artsy-fartsy, and if you’re not in the mood for that kind of thing, it’s best to just let it be. The second time, though, I was in the right frame of mind and Leviathan managed to weave its spell on me. Make no mistake, I’m not one of those meat eaters who are oblivious to where their dinners come from.

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Six Movies with Horrific Haunts for Your Halloween Viewing

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According to an article in Forbes, one in every five people will attend a haunted house attraction, or haunt for short, during the days leading up to All Hallows Eve. In the U. S. alone, that means somewhere around 65 million willing victims queue up for no other reason than to be scared out of their wits. What Forbes neglects to mention is just how many of those standing in line wonder to themselves, “What if there’s a real maniac hiding in there just waiting to disembowel me?” Whatever the number, it’s safe to say quite a few Hollywood screenwriters have had that very same thought cross their minds. Here are six films featuring horrific haunts and where you can find them for some harrowing Halloween viewing.

Hell House LLC

Hell House LLC

Five friends come together to plan a haunt and, to save money, move into the location while they set the place up. Things get consecutively weirder until opening night, when all hell breaks loose and lots of people die. Five years later, a documentary crew assembles all of the available footage to determine what went wrong and that’s when things get weirder still.

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